Roller Coaster

Wow! It's been a long time since I've sat at the keyboard to write. For much of the summer, I felt like there was not much new information to share. A lot has happened since my last post.

In late September we were called by our social worker Sally, who informed us that a birthmom was looking at our profile. She needed permission to show us to this birthmom because it was considered a high risk placement. A high risk placement is an in-hospital placement with the potential adoptive parents. The risk comes because of the 30 recision period in Maryland. I was very unsure and hesitant but after much prayer and trust in my husband's confident decision, we decided to move forward. We were not selected by that set of birthparents.

About 3 weeks later, I was in the middle of teaching when I got a call from Shayla, the birthmother counselor. "You've been selected" she said in her usual calm and understated way. I think my jaw dropped and I let out a little yelp. (My students later asked if I had won the lottery!) We got the details and the ride began. If everything goes as plan, we will have a little boy in our arms by mid-February.

People are so kind and often ask if we have any news. I usually respond by saying that we are guardedly excited. That's the truth. If I'm honest, I can say that this has been a challenging experience because I am having a difficult time knowing how much of my heart to invest. I want to feel excited, but that is a dangerous proposition. Investing too much of my heart could mean heartbreak, because this process is always tenuous. All indications are very positive and our meeting with the birthparents went, in the language of my husband, "Awesome". We are definitely along for the ride.

My confidence is that my God uses "all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose". I know that whatever happens, God is not a distant watchmaker, but a loving shepherd who holds us, the birthparents, and this child in His very capable hands. Besides, I love roller coasters!